Intercultural Differences – Its all about Compromising

Cultural customs vary between races, religion and even within countries and regions of the world. These differences can come in the form of behavioural norms, interaction styles and even one’s perceptions towards a topic (CARLA). For example, some countries may be more expressive, while others are more conservative. The lack of awareness and understanding of such differences may sometimes lead to misunderstandings (Messner, W. & Schafer, N, 2012). If not handled well, intercultural differences may result in discomfort or conflict between the receiver and sender.

I have learnt about this slightly during my first encounter with my aunt. One of my aunts has been living in Australia for many years after marrying an Australian. Apart from that, she has always been more open and enjoys social interactions. On the other hand, I do not like physical contact and tend to keep my opinions to myself, let alone with people I have just met. Yes, one could easily tell that this only means trouble.

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My Australian aunt decided to arrange for a lunch meeting with my whole family. Upon seeing us, she immediately proceeded to embrace each of us and peck us on the cheeks. While my family members took it quite well, I flinched, placing my hand forward in a bid to keep a safe distance from her. It was only a few moments later that I realized my mistake and tried to rectify it by shaking hands with her instead. It was only at the end of the lunch meeting that I went towards her and apologized for my behaviour, to which she accepted graciously and (unfortunately) gave me a ‘friendlier’ hug instead. Despite my reluctance, I accepted this strange parting gift from her to the best of my ability.

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However, I felt that I could have handled the situation better. I could have unintentionally signalled an expression of hostility during the first few moments when she attempted to greet me. If I had known earlier about her affectionate tendencies, I may have readied myself better and gave her a handshake, or accepted her embrace without that few moments of awkwardness. I was probably fortunate that my aunt was very forgiving and thus, did not take it to heart. She also understood enough to compromise on her usual behaviour by providing me a less intimate hug at the end. Obviously, she handled this short exchange much better than me.

Although it was a short and (maybe) funny exchange, this incident probably illustrates the need to compromise at times of intercultural differences between people. Usually, by knowing about one’s and another’s culture, he or she would be able to empathise with one another and seek a compromise between the two cultures. This compromise would reduce the discomfort experienced in either or both parties engaging in a conversation or an activity, and hopefully, prevent one from ending up like this:

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But how much should one compromise on one’s beliefs and comfort zones? Should I have accepted the hug more graciously? Should an employee who abstains from drinking take a few shots just to mingle with his colleagues better? How much is too much and how little is too little? Please do share your opinions here.

References

Definition of Culture by Centre for Advanced Research on Language Acquisition (CARLA)

Elements of Inter cultural Competence from Wikipedia