Cultural customs vary between races,
religion and even within countries and regions of the world. These differences can
come in the form of behavioural norms, interaction styles and even one’s perceptions
towards a topic (CARLA). For example, some countries may be more expressive,
while others are more conservative. The lack of awareness and understanding of
such differences may sometimes lead to misunderstandings (Messner, W. &
Schafer, N, 2012). If not handled well, intercultural differences may result in
discomfort or conflict between the receiver and sender.
I have learnt about this slightly
during my first encounter with my aunt. One of my aunts has been living in
Australia for many years after marrying an Australian. Apart from that, she has
always been more open and enjoys social interactions. On the other hand, I do
not like physical contact and tend to keep my opinions to myself, let alone
with people I have just met. Yes, one could easily tell that this only means
trouble.
My Australian aunt decided to
arrange for a lunch meeting with my whole family. Upon seeing us, she immediately
proceeded to embrace each of us and peck us on the cheeks. While my family
members took it quite well, I flinched, placing my hand forward in a bid to
keep a safe distance from her. It was only a few moments later that I realized
my mistake and tried to rectify it by shaking hands with her instead. It was
only at the end of the lunch meeting that I went towards her and apologized for
my behaviour, to which she accepted graciously and (unfortunately) gave me a ‘friendlier’
hug instead. Despite my reluctance, I accepted this strange parting gift from
her to the best of my ability.
Picture from: http://i.qkme.me/35g1k7.jpg
However, I felt that I could have
handled the situation better. I could have unintentionally signalled an
expression of hostility during the first few moments when she attempted to
greet me. If I had known earlier about her affectionate tendencies, I may have
readied myself better and gave her a handshake, or accepted her embrace without
that few moments of awkwardness. I was probably fortunate that my aunt was very
forgiving and thus, did not take it to heart. She also understood enough to
compromise on her usual behaviour by providing me a less intimate hug at the
end. Obviously, she handled this short exchange much better than me.
Although it was a short and
(maybe) funny exchange, this incident probably illustrates the need to
compromise at times of intercultural differences between people. Usually, by
knowing about one’s and another’s culture, he or she would be able to empathise
with one another and seek a compromise between the two cultures. This
compromise would reduce the discomfort experienced in either or both parties engaging
in a conversation or an activity, and hopefully, prevent one from ending up
like this:
GIF from: http://i.imgflip.com/19dtx.gif
But how much should one
compromise on one’s beliefs and comfort zones? Should I have accepted the hug
more graciously? Should an employee who abstains from drinking take a few shots
just to mingle with his colleagues better? How much is too much and how little
is too little? Please do share your opinions here.
References
Definition of Culture by Centre for Advanced Research on Language Acquisition (CARLA)
Elements of Inter cultural Competence from Wikipedia
